Categories
Life in general woops

It’s hideous, I know

My first (and hopefully ONLY, EVER) black eye.  And those little black things aren’t spiders, they’re stitches.  Three.  And the actual cut?  Lightning-bolt shaped.  How interesting! 
It really freaking hurts.  Not constantly, though, thank goodness.  Only when I blink, smile, bite, chew or make any kind of facial expression at all.  It hurts even more if I flinch or laugh.  
How did I maim myself in such a way, you ask?  I tripped over my exercise ball, which was NOT in my path on the way TO Alison’s closet but mysteriously WAS in my path on the way back.  Suddenly, my feet were swept out from under me and my face went WHAM! on the floor.  My glasses were the only thing between my face and the floor, which is what created the lovely puncture at the corner of my eye.  
                                                    What I managed to hurt in the fall:
                            cheek bone    brow bone     eye ball     eye lid      knee    elbow
                                                                
  

Categories
Life in general

What’s UP?

I would have given my right arm, in my youth, to wake up with my bangs sticking up off my head.  A little tease here and there, a few squirts of White Rain and I’d be set.  Life really would have been perfect if it happened to occur on picture day.  The key to this astonishing feat: have a baby.  Shortly thereafter, tiny hairs will begin to sprout and stick up all over.  Jeremy thinks it’s hilarious that I have to clip my bangs down every morning when I get out of the shower in order to avoid the craziness that lasts ALL DAY no matter how high I set my flat iron.  Oh, but when I forget… GAHHH!  No balloon tricks here, people – that is ALL NATURAL!
                                                     

Categories
Life in general

I’m crushed

John Iriving has been my favorite author for at least a decade.  Before that, I think I liked a lot of authors but never had a real favorite, I’m just too particular.  My favorite book of all time (of course by Irving) has been A Prayer for Owen Meany, followed closely by The World According to Garp (yep, also Irving) for as long as I can remember.  I’ve read them both a dozen times.  My least favorite of his books is his memoir, The Imaginary Girlfriend, because I guess I just didn’t want to know that much about him.  Like the way a guy must feel in the morning after taking home a one-night stand and finding out she takes the short bus or something.  The whole thing feels a bit tainted.  But I hung in there, after all I am a long-time fan. 

Last year when I was forcing myself to rest, I read all of the Irving books I have here in the house, back-to-back.  Big mistake, because it left me feeling a bit over-exposed, for lack of a better expression.  I didn’t like Garp as much, I was totally annoyed by the dad in Until I find You, as well as with Doris in The Fourth Hand.  And I was suddenly unwilling to believe that teenagers would flock to Hester the Molester’s music in A Prayer for Owen Meany.  What was the matter with me, that I was no longer left with a warm fuzzy feeling after reading an Irving book?  I do still love Owen Meany, but maybe I’ll read it a bit less often (which is to say, once every 5 years rather than every 2).

I just find it pompous (on Irving’s part) to assume that the rest of the world (OK, just the characters in the world of the book) would continue to basically WORSHIP the characters in the book for YEARS, decades even – usually the main character, but sometimes not.  Pretty much whoever ends up kicking the bucket.  I think I used to find it endearing, even hopeful.  But now I find it utterly unrealistic.  It makes me roll my eyes.  Am I becoming a cynic?  Eek.  So rather than just realizing Irving is human, combined with the memoir, I just don’t like him as a person anymore.  And how can he be my favorite if I don’t even like him?

Now I have to go about finding a new favorite author.  I just can’t let Irving have the title anymore, I’m afraid.  I like the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling.  I admit, I’m addicted, even though until October of last year I thought Potterheads were wack-jobs and swore I’d never read a Harry Potter book or see a Harry Potter movie.  Basically I’m just anti anything that mainstream.  Although, I am glad it’s gotten kids back into reading books, but that doesn’t mean I have to read them.   But my sister lent me books 1-6 and after reading 1-4 back to back, I had to pace myself and just finished reading 5.  I’m itching to read 6 but I’ve got so much stuff to DO!  And, I’m already sad that there are only 2 left.  So Rowling sounds like a contender, right, but I can’t go with her – I have to know how she writes other characters.  Maeve Binchy used to be one of my favorites, but I just read The Whitethorn Woods and although it was a good read, I just wasn’t that into it.  I like Gregory Maguire (of his I’ve read Lost, Wicked, Son of a Witch, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister) but I made the mistake of re-reading Wicked and Son of a Witch back to back and there are too many glaring errors to have him be a favorite.  You’d think HE would have re-read Wicked before writing Son of a Witch so that he didn’t make so many fumbles in the story line.

Ooooooh, actually I think it’s a tie between Maya Angelou and David Sedaris.  Hmmm.  I think I’ll have to have a read-off and figure out which one comes out on top.

Categories
Life in general

October

October has been a month of clarity for me.  It’s been a very, very busy month.  I turned 30, read the first 4 Harry Potter books in one week (I’m going to reward myself with the 5th after I get a specific list of things done), got rid of a bunch of stuff that’s been hanging around my house, painted and cleaned the house we rent out in a record 4 days, and started seeing things clearly for the first time in months.  I had six pints of blood transfused when I hemorrhaged, and stayed in the hospital three days.  I didn’t even have the strength to lift my arms – someone had to do it for me.  After that, I got through life because I had to.  I took care of Blythe because she was a newborn and needed me, and that’s what moms do.  I loved her, I know I did – but it wasn’t until recently that I was able to see her clearly, and I have fallen head over heels in love with her.  Before, everything I did, saw, thought – was through a haze of fatigue that I just couldn’t move through.  My body wouldn’t work right, my mind was muddled.  But then October came and suddenly, I am me again.  I didn’t realize I hadn’t really laughed in months until I laughed a real, hard belly laugh.  I didn’t realize I hadn’t moved through a day with ease until I found myself dancing with Alison because I wanted to, and she hadn’t even asked.  It wasn’t until I saw the look of absolute joy on her face that I knew I had been neglecting her.  Meeting her needs, yes – she was fed, clean, read to – but oh, to be dancing with mommy for no particular reason, right there in the middle of the living room.  Life was good.

It’s not that I didn’t care about other people during that cloudy time, because I did.  But I held everyone at arms length, without meaning to.  I didn’t keep in touch with people very well, didn’t engage in conversation.  I just couldn’t.  I appreciated the fact that I was alive, but deep feelings weren’t accessible to me .  This month my husband and I have been staying up late (even though we’re exhausted at the end of the day) talking about nothing in particular and everything that’s important.  I have been walking around with this unexplainable tight feeling in my chest and it’s kind of like that first-day-of-school pent up excitement from when I was a kid.  Life awaits.  I can’t wait for Jeremy to get home every day, so I can be near him.  Alison makes me laugh out loud all day – and although I enjoy a break from her, I miss her so much when she’s away from me because she lights up every room she enters.  And Blythe – my heart hurts with my love for her.  We have gone through so much in her little lifetime.  She’s going to be a survivor, that one.

So today is the last day of October.  Alison has a Halloween party at school this morning and I’m excited to go and watch her in the costume parade.  I’m looking forward to taking her trick-or-treating in the mall tonight (I don’t brave the streets with small children – I’m too paranoid) and it’s amazing to me that I don’t dread going out in public.  Tomorrow is the first day of November, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me.