Thank You, Long Overdue

How do we know whether to speak up when we  see that something isn’t right? 

As children, we know to stick up for a child who is being picked on by the class bully.  But as adults, where is the line between helping and sticking our big fat nose where it doesn’t belong, in someone else’s business?

Over the last 18 months, I’ve spent a lot of time learning about the patterns and cycles of abuse – how to spot them and how to stop them.  One of the things that has kept me up at night, lately, are the red flags.

Red flags are often little, subtle things that someone who is being abused might slip into conversation here and there.  They are showing a glimpse of their reality, usually in a way that can be easily explained if they are called on it and decide not to open up.

Red flags are a cry for help.  They are the first step to breaking the cycle of abuse.  But they often go unnoticed, and the cycle remains intact.  After all, they are usually so innocuous that the average person would think nothing of them.

A woman came into my place of business not long ago, and though she was a stranger, I could see red flags popping up with every word she spoke.  It would have been entirely inappropriate for me, at work and in a professional capacity, to step in and say something.  But I haven’t stopped thinking about her.  Should I have reached out to her in some way? 

I think about the woman I randomly helped the other night and I wonder – where is the difference?  Do I have to wait until someone is battered and walking along the freeway to offer my help?

I think about my own red flags, and how long it took for me to raise them.  How I didn’t even know I was waving them around.  And how it felt for someone to notice them.

I am so lucky to have people in my life who took the time to not only recognize them for what they were, but who dared to say something and then offer to help me. 

To everyone whose actions, words or thoughts went out to me and my family: 

Thank you.  For caring.  For helping.  For being there.  For giving me strength.  For listening.  For being kind.  For being patient.  For everything.  It is long overdue.  But a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t felt grateful for having you in my corner.

xoxo

~Dre