Target Practice

* Disclaimer *  The following post contains simmering anger.  I’m not going to edit it, or try to make it witty.  But I’ve got to get it OUT.  Read at your own risk.

I was playing on the floor with Blythe when I heard a knock on the door.  Since I didn’t hear a car pull up, I figured it was one of our employees. 

Nope, it was code enforcement and a Sheriff.  Turns out, someone made a couple of complaints about us, and they were here to investigate.  Complaint #1: A diesel tank.  About a year ago, we had a diesel tank put on the edge of our property.  Before we could even start looking into installing it and having it filled, one of our neighbors (we have very few) threw a hissy fit about it.  We decided not to use it, and had it removed.  End of story, right?  Wrong.  But clearly it’s not even THERE anymore, so on to…

Complaint #2: Someone reportedly living in a motor home on our property.  Um, do you SEE anyone living in a motor home?  Yes, we do have an old motor home sitting over there in the corner, we used to use it for Jeremy’s softball tournaments.  The whole team would ride up in there.  But, clearly, it hasn’t been used in quite some time, and no, other than BUGS, there is no one living there.

So after they left, satisfied that no codes needed enforcing, I called Jeremy and was all, WTF is up with our neighbors?  It turns out, Jeremy HAD gone into the motor home that morning to take out anything he wanted to keep, because he was having someone pick it up and scrap it.  So, now we aren’t even allowed to STEP FOOT IN OUR OWN MOTOR HOME, on OUR OWN PROPERTY, without someone turning us into code enforcement for LIVING IN IT.

I probably would be able to just laugh it off if someone hadn’t turned us in a couple of weeks ago for “illegally installing a pool”.  I was out front, minding my own business, when the county inspector drove up.  But um, yeah, that pool’s been there for YEARS.  Turns out, though, we had a few other issues, now that WE WERE BEING PUT UNDER A MICROSCOPE. 

But, fortunately, that’s all being taken care of.  And, miracle of miracles, the people on the county side of things are being very nice and helpful.  And the inspector fell in love with Bella while he was here, and decided to adopt her, so that was an added bonus.

The thing is: why do our (very few) neighbors HATE US?  When we moved here, they told us to GO BACK TO THE CITY.  But we’re not even FROM the city, we’re from, like, a mile away.  So we fixed up what had been a condemned house, landscaped, cleaned the place up.  Installed nice fences, slowly accumulated cattle and farm equipment.  We keep our fields irrigated and cut.  When Jeremy’s out there, he even cuts and/or discs our neighbor’s property FOR FREE if they want. 

We also share a gravel road with a few people.  When we moved here, it was full of potholes and was down to dirt in a lot of places.  EVERY YEAR, we pay for more base rock to be delivered, and we (and by we I mean Jeremy, of course) smooth it out.  EVERY YEAR, they get their road repaired FOR FREE.

We’ve done nothing but bring their home values UP.  So what’s the problem?  Is it the fact that we have all our teeth?  Is it because we don’t have a yard full of junked up cars?  Is it because our animals are well taken care of, and we don’t live in a mobile home?  Is it because we don’t cook crystal meth in our barn?  Is it because we shower regularly?

Tell me, people.  TELL ME.

And a word of advice:  if ever you decide to move to a ranch for all that space and privacy, try to buy like a hundred acres, and put your house right in the middle.  Because apparently, 11 acres is NOT ENOUGH SPACE for people to get up out of your business.